I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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