My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
