Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
