We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
