Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
