yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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