it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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