its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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