i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
