bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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