Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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