How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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