i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize