I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
