who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
