Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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