drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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