i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize