my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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