sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
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imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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