So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
