i think my mom watched the whole time
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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