Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
