Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
