Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
