omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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