Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
