Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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