seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
