May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
