Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize