we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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