I just cut my nipple shaving
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
