all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
