There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
