Don't you send me to vm
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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