My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize