we're blogging at a bar
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
