My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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