we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
