yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
