i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
