so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
