Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
