People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
