i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
