I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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