you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The adults are the big ones right?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
