So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
