I faked an abortion last night.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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