Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize