I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
