So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize