I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
