my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
