Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
