dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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