Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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