i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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