The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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