i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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