if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
